Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Self-love vs. selfishness

Our culture basically stresses on ‘living for others.’ Otherwise there won’t be popular songs like, “Jeena Uska Jeena Hai, Jo Auron Ko Jeevan Deta Hai” ( ‘Life’ is life of that one, who lives for others). I belonged to that school of thought.

Others see you as you see yourself

If everyone is of the same mentality, life will be so smooth and happy. But we know that is not the case. There is always a tendency to take advantage of the goodness of others. When one is thinking 24/7 that he/she is to serve others, can we really blame others, of different mentality, for extracting service from them?

It is important to realize that just like we give importance to others, we need to give importance to ourselves too. In case you are familiar with the notion that we are all souls with human bodies here, it is easy to grasp this. If you won’t take care of your body by giving yourself adequate time, who else will? When we consider ourselves as deplorable beings, we can’t blame others for disrespecting us.

The awakening

After spending a good number of years ‘living for others’, I was awakened by some jolts in life. I tried to understand who exactly I was. I could see a home maker, a professional, a wife, a mother, but who was the real ‘I’? Luckily Reiki came into my life to provide clear thinking. I could pick up the threads of my life and start to proceed in the correct direction.

Pendulum swinging the other way?

Now when I look around, it is painful to see that the life principle has gone to the other extreme. In the name of self -love, I see a lot of people turning extremely selfish. This has maximum impact on husband wife relationships.

Home is where we rest, rejuvenate and become complete again after spending draining time outside in the office, traffic, and with friends, some of who are always trying to pull us down from our spiritual path.

Between a man and woman, who is genetically endowed with qualities to be a home maker and a mother? Of course it is the woman, she can endure more physical pain, can bounce back from emotional pain better, and can do multitasking more easily. And I know this from practical experience too.

Don’t lose your fine qualities

It is impossible to bring complete equality between the genders, because they are not manufactured the same way. Each one should do what he/she is better at. If you think, ‘I will cook one day, then he has to cook the next day. I’ll bathe the child one day, he should give bath the next day’, it is not going to work out.

No, the life is not meant to be like that. Have enough self-love, but please donate some self-less love to your partner too. And a mother’s role is much more in building the character of the child, than a father’s. Let each one take up the responsibility that he/she is good at and do it consistently. If one is preforming the duties at his/her whim and fancy, it doesn’t work out!

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