Forever 16 - Maturity Gone With The Wind

 These are just my random thoughts when watching the world around. I am not saying anything is good or bad, but if anyone gets any point to improve their life, I am happy.

The Grace and Maturity

Decades back when I went with my husband after our marriage to his aunt’s (mamiji) house, his maternal grandmother was alone at home, who was knitting a sweater. She was a little dark complexioned, wrinkles on her face, but when I set my eyes on her, my heart was filled with love and respect. The thought “I would like to have her type of aura when I grow old” crossed my mind. She personified grace and maturity to me.

Touching feet of elders

It is very prevalent in North India to touch the feet of elders, especially for a new bride. I had to touch the feet of so many relatives, not that I enjoyed touching all those feet. By this gesture, one imbibes the culture of the person who is touched, and I had sense of energy from early on. But with some people, I really had this strong urge to touch and be blessed with some of their good qualities!

I could see many people of older generation who exuded grace, maturity and wisdom. If I am a newlywed at this point in time and I have to touch the feet of older people, I think I’ll be in a total dilemma. Because very few people got that inner sense of maturity and grace these days.

Everybody is a sweet sixteen

In my early days, a lady used to look like a wife after marriage, like a mother after having kids and like a grandma after grand children came to their life. But now majority want to look like they are in their teens by the way they dress up, do their makeup and in their behaviour! The maturity may be coming when one does the duties that come with changing relationships whole heartedly. When a mother is neglecting the house and kids and doing fashion shows, will she look like a mother or a model?

It’s my life

We come from a culture where family was considered above self, clan above the family, village above the clan, and country above the village. This view seems to be in shambles. I have to admit I see a revival slowly in some aspects, which is very heartening. In general, the thought pattern is,” It is my life; my happiness is of utmost importance, above everything else. Why should I consult my parents in choosing a life partner? I don’t believe in making any sacrifice. Every chore should be in a 50/50 pattern between husband and wife. Why should I make tea every day for my in-laws?”

Role of physical body and immediate gratification

Our soul is clothed in this physical body and the latter is designed for physical work. With all the modern gadgets and western commodes, this is hardly happening these days, leading to chronic diseases and tablet dependent life.

Another debilitating factor is the wanting of immediate results. When married youngsters come to me with the complaint of husbands not behaving as they should be, my advice is “Do what you expect them to do, and make sure they are watching it (this should be done discretely, don’t throw it on their face) and over the years, subconsciously they will imbibe that character. One has to be patient. Do this for 25 years. On 26^th year, come back to me. I am sure you will have a different story to tell.”

Yes, that is the fact. Things take time in life. You can’t plant a mango seed and expect mango the next month. You may say that some plants give flowers within a month. But we are talking of long term relationships. If you are looking for short term relationships, I take my words back.

Go beyond the physical body

Anything in this physical world has a life cycle. A bud cannot remain a bud. It has to bloom, spread its fragrance and beauty, then dry and wither off. When it is in the stage of full bloom or drying, if you gather all the petals, tie them together and spray some perfume, will it look like a bud? 

Think in similar terms about human beings.

Let us be grateful to have got this human birth, use the physical body as it is supposed to be, start thinking about the omnipresent soul residing inside, and begin doing things to let the soul complete its journey. If one doesn’t do it in this life, while taking the next incarnation, it will start from where it was left. That is perfectly ok with majority, but this article is not for them.

Hornbill Festival 2023

During our trip to Meghalaya a couple of years back, we heard about the Hornbill festival that happens in the first week of December in Nagaland. I was so fascinated by it, but sad at the same time, from the news that the number of hornbills is declining as they are being killed and eaten.

Hornbill Festival happening closeby

When my husband registered for the Hornbill festival in Dandeli, which is only about 90 kms from our place, I was the happiest person! The dates were 11^th and 12^th February 2023. We arrived at Dandeli the previous day and on 11^th morning reached the venue in great anticipation. After an awesome breakfast we assembled in the main hall and listened to amazing presentations that opened up new areas in the brain.

Hornbills, the gems of Indian forest

Hornbills (Bucerotidae) are a family of bird found in tropical and subtropical Africa, Asia and Melanesia. They are characterized by a long, down-curved bill which is frequently brightly coloured and sometimes has a casque on the maxilla. A casque is a helmet-like process or structure on the bill of most hornbills.

They are the only birds in which the first and second neck vertebrae are fused together; this probably provides a more stable platform for carrying the bill. The family is omnivorous, feeding on fruit and small animals. They cannot swallow food caught at the tip of the beak as their tongues are too short to manipulate it, so they toss it back to the throat with a jerk of the head.

 They are monogamous breeders nesting in natural cavities in trees and sometimes cliffs. Nesting sites may be used in consecutive breeding seasons by the same pair. Before incubation, the females, sometimes assisted by the male—begin to close the entrance to the nest cavity with a wall made of mud, droppings and fruit pulp. When she is ready to lay her eggs, the entrance is just large enough for her to enter the nest. She then enters the nest, seals the remaining opening shut, leaving only one narrow aperture, big enough for the male to transfer food to the mother and eventually the chicks. When the chicks and the female are too big to fit in the nest, the mother breaks out the nest and both parents feed the chicks.

In the Western Ghats there are four types of hornbills :  Indian Grey Hornbill (endemic to India), the Malabar Grey Hornbill (endemic to the Western Ghats), Malabar Pied Hornbill (endemic to India and Sri Lanka) and the widely distributed but endangered Great Hornbill. Indian Grey hornbill is the most common species found in India.

The activities

There was a variety of activities lined up, apart from the presentations and interaction with eminent Birders and Bird photographers. We were taken for a walk into the forest for bird watching. It was a very enriching experience to watch the hornbills fly above us, to see the fruiting trees that they frequent.  About 20 types of birds I got to see. We walked upto a water body, spent some time  there, watching the magnificent Sun about to set, and returned.

 There was a cultural program at the venue.

Got to see beautiful dance at the beginning of the function on 11th, which I could appreciate so well, being a Bharatanatyam dancer myself.  

The safari

On 12^th morning we assembled at 6.30 am for the safari. Here again we saw deer, Malabar giant squirrel,  jungle fowl, a very friendly pea cock and while returning spotted  a crocodile that was basking in the Sunlight near a small water body.

                                                See how happy we were during the safari!

                                                        Awesome scenery en route

The friendly peacock :-

A delicious lunch

The lunch that was served on 11^th was really good. The rumali roti, taro slices fried, sweet prepared in turmeric leaves, jalebi, a kheer type preparation that was unique – all these were so soothing to the stomach. May be because they were prepared from forest produce! 

Gratitude Vs Entitlement

 

The side effect of nuclear families

In a family with one or two children, the kids are made to feel they are special. They are so much protected and all wishes fulfilled that when they go out into the world, they become misfit. They are incapable of dealing with disappointments and seek immediate rewards. Working hard for months or years together just for the sake of doing it, is alien to them. A glance at the news gives ample examples for this: teenagers committing suicide, injuring parents for not providing with expensive mobile phones etc.,

Parents have failed to instil gratitude in their spoilt apples of their eye. I see this as a grave situation for the future and it is of utmost importance for the parents to give a deep thought to the way they are raising their kids.

And the older generation....

While I was thinking that it is a problem with children, a couple of clients approached me for healing their parents. The parents were having physical problems which were easily treatable with simple measures. And they get benefit too, but would find some reason/excuse to discontinue doing whatever they were supposed to do.

Since I know learning Reiki can help them tremendously, I advise them to learn and practice Reiki healing daily. Many of them straightaway refuse to learn. And a few who do learn, stop practicing soon. It surprises me beyond imagination why they can’t follow a daily routine and do things like getting up early, doing yoga, daily walk, pranayama, healthy eating habit etc., in spite of all the time they have got.

There comes the entitlement

Slowly it dawned on me, they think they have earned a status for being looked after by children since they have “sacrificed” their comforts and ambitions for the future of their progeny. This creates problems because the adult children are in the peak of their career, with their own children to care for. And it is further complicated if the children are settled abroad. Old parents resent the fact that they are not coming to India often. They only have done everything possible to see that their children go abroad for studies and jobs (sometimes even by taking huge loans), and when that happens, they are not ready to accept the things that come along with them!

Hearts being torn

This creates a lot of pain for the adult children. They want to see their parents happy, but they are always cribbing. May be the parents think that if they remain healthy and happy , they may not get attention of their children!

Because the mind is sad and frustrated, the children remain annoyed, irritated and exasperated. To a recent client in such a situation, I told to respect the decision of the parent’s soul to remain in the current situation. The best one can do in this scenario is to make the parent feel that he/she is there with the parent and do whatever they can do in their situation. Especially, keep sending Reiki healing to the parent. It is a balanced way of nurturing old parents.This was a new approach and the client was so grateful for this advice.  

The probable solution

If one has to live with peace and contentment, the only solution may be to practice gratitude for whatever one has got in life. If children are abroad and the parent is bed ridden, they are being looked after by in house nurse that the children arrange for them. They can try to be grateful for the fact that even if the children are not with them, they are being looked after and their medical problems addressed.

And the growing up children should also be trained in a similar way, to have gratitude for all the comforts available at home, instead of cribbing for the foreign trips that their friends may be enjoying.