Losing your lower body?

There are many villages around our city Belgaum and we get workers from the surrounding villages. I used to be astonished at the frequency with which these villagers got hospitalized, went under the surgical knife and got long term medications. Because according to me, they were leading lives closer to nature.

They bring children with many rotten teeth, we feel really sorry to see that. For one thing, they can't eat properly, depriving the body of essential nutrients, stunting the general growth. Secondly, since they cannot chew properly, there is not enough exercise for the jaw muscles, retarding their facial growth, which affects the personality. This is because biscuits and breads are easily available in the shops and kids like to have them, with a preference over the chapatis. These stick to their teeth and they don't have proper brushing habits, leading to dental decay.

But recently I became aware of another serious problem regarding the lower part of the body, which is crippling many and causing constant pain. There was a religious meeting in an adjacent village, about a dozen chairs were arranged for some VIPs to sit in the front. It was expected that the villagers will sit on the floor in front of the dais. To the horror of the organizers, they were told that the local people can't sit on the floor and they had to somehow arrange about 80 chairs immediately. No wonder many of them get arthritis at early age.  I couldn't think of the reason why these sons of the earth couldn't sit on the floor, because we Indians are known to be able to sit in sukhasana and padmasana.

Later when it was time to use the toilet in a house in the village, the reason was clear. You can see for yourselves:

Western seat mounted on a foldable stand


The habit of squatting is disappearing even from the villages! Our grandmothers used to cook sitting on the floor and meals were eaten sitting on the floor. Sleeping on the mats necessitated bending the knees, using the hips and ankle joints. Daily puja were done sitting on the floor.Now we have raised platforms for cooking and doing puja and cots for sleeping.

Another interesting finding was the presence of a chair in a bathroom. Instead of sitting on a low stool and taking bath, now a high level chair is preferred to sit and taking bath. The bucket of water is kept over another stool so that bending is not required to take the water.

At least the Indian toilets needed squatting, but now they are also becoming obsolete. It is good for the hospitals, doctors, medical companies, because there are a lot of knee replacements and hip replacements going on. These joints are never being used in day to day life, so they degenerate and need replacement. I was looking for a maid some time back, a middle aged lady came, and told me, 'I have had a knee replacement, so cannot do anything that needs to sit on the floor. '

In short, people have stopped using the lower half of the body. I wonder whether the Nature will do away with this area of the body for humans during the course of evolution!

Dance Away!

Flowers bloom, to spread beauty and fragrance,

They never brood over the stress they had to

Undergo during the growth.

Candles when lit, pierces darkness,
To brighten the room,

They never complain about ..

The turmoil they underwent

In the making of a candle.

Strife may be a part of life,

Let it be there in the background,

To strengthen you.

Learn to rejoice, to sing and dance,

To celebrate life, every moment. 

From the lotus...

The lotus stands tall and stately, 
It never thought of running away, 
From the mud and dirt. 

It knew the power within, 
That God endowed it with, 
Which could bring out, 
The beauty and fragrance.  

We are all lotuses,  just understand, 
The power within, 
And meet challenges of life, 
With a smile on the lips,
And a song in the heart!

Continuing Reiki miracles….

When I just finished work on my dental patient, a family of husband, wife and son came to discuss about Reiki. They didn’t have much knowledge about Reiki. The wife (35 years) was always tired and found the household chores very strenuous. The inability to look after the needs of her husband and children made her frustrated, leading to angry retorts.

How did you know about Reiki?

Her cousin’s son started getting epileptic seizures from the age of four. It was very distressing for the child and the parents and they did all sorts of treatments till the age of 18. Nothing was working and the boy was going through hell. Then they went to the Reiki Academy in Bangalore (ARTH) and got the Reiki healing done. And the seizures stopped, forever, “as if it never existed”, in her words. Now he is 22 years old. So her cousin invited her to Bangalore to get Reiki healing for her lack of energy.

The husband thought that there may be some Reiki master in Belgaum, searched the net and found me (ARTH, Belgaum). I explained to them about Reiki and how it could help her. Since she had come to my dental clinic and saw the dental chair and equipments, she thought that Reiki healing may be an invasive procedure and was very scared. I told her that I wouldn’t even touch her for the healing.

Absence of energy in all chakras

I checked her energy level at the chakras before the healing and to my surprise, the pendulum remained still in front of every chakra. Usually the pendulum moves in one or two chakras in ordinary people. This was the first instance where the pendulum didn’t move in any of the chakras. I could totally understand her lack of energy. Then I gave her a Reiki healing and I noticed the change in her breathing style, it was longer and more relaxed, during the healing.

A glowing face

When I finished healing, her face opened up with a broad smile. Her face was glowing and she felt very relaxed. I checked the energy level and she and her husband noticed how the pendulum moved in front of all chakras. And she took appointment for the next class to learn Reiki.

The illusion of American dream

 Prelude:

America has very successfully marketed their life style to lure  the best brains from India, especially the IIT graduates. Before getting into the honey trap, it is important to know what will be the scenario thirty years down the lane, of their lives, their parents', grand parents' and the children's fate.
**************         

Our friend came for a dental check up the other day. He was going for one month to USA to his son and daughter-in-law. The son had asked him to get his teeth and eyes checked  before starting the journey. If he develops any tooth or eye problem, it will be very expensive to get the treatment done there. Two of his three sons are in USA and UK. When his third son graduated, the father said," You find a job in India and stay here. Whatever properties we have, I'll give to you." 

With moist eyes, he told us, “At least one son should be there to come to us in an emergency situation.”

IIT- everybody's dream

Whatever the intelligence level of Indian parents, everybody wants their child to study in IITs (Indian institute f Technology). The preparations start right from school. IIT label is a sure shot ticket to USA, according to parents. And they grill it deep into the child's psyche.

In vegetarian families, mothers will feed eggs and non-vegetarian food to children so that they will not have problem when going abroad. Parents, especially mothers go to great lengths to see that the child gets up early morning to start his studies  and keeps an eye to ensure that he/she  hasn't dozed off.

If the child doesn't get into IIT in the first attempt, parents won't think a second time before asking the child to drop a year. Now for one full year the mother is on tenterhooks and on full duty, supervising the studies.

The life after

So the child graduates from  IIT and then he is on the lookout for the  highest paying job, usually joining one which is in no way related to the subject he has studied. And off he goes to the land of milk and honey. Parents are so proud, giving parties and telling their friends of the child's achievements. 

When the grandchild is about to arrive, the parents are called to take care of the baby.

In the US, where the public transport is non-existent, it is nearly impossible to traverse without a car, and parents are usually stuck inside – even more so if it is snowing outside. Talking to the neighbors or passersby is a strict no-no. And so the old couple remains isolated within four walls all day, until the children come home from work, too tired to spend any time with the parents.

I know one or two mothers who refused to go for the delivery of the  second child, having suffered enough the first time. And there are fathers who put their foot down when invited to spend more than a month abroad. 

Depression and sickness

Parents who are too attached to their children (and most Indian parents are) suffer deeply and fall sick because of depression. Once or twice children may  visit them when  they are hospitalized,  but they have busy lives to get back to. 

We know a person who is so sick that every three weeks he needs to be hospitalized. He literally cries when that happens, 'I don't want to go to the hospital.  I just want my kids to be near me".  Alas! That is not possible now.

It was a mistake

In this family of two kids, parents drove into their subconscious mind that they have to go  to America to settle down. And they all pitched in their full effort to make that happen. Now both the kids are well settled in USA, earning  fortunes.

Parents, being alone after retirement, are having a tough time.  Going through depression, they remarked, ‘We think we did a mistake by sending both of them abroad.'

Suffering is not mandatory

Just because your kids are abroad, you need not fall into the abyss of depression, if you are spiritually inclined.

'Why should we expect that children should look after us in old age? Let them lead their lives, and let us spend our time understanding life and its purpose", remarked a father whose only child is well settled in America.

    

 But that is an exception

 Majority of people are not blessed with such a balanced view. So they are in agony. There are many residential colonies where old parents live, the children are all settled abroad, and passing each day is a burden for these old people.

Raising kids in the US

Now, raising children in the USA is an entirely different ballgame. Torn between Indian values and Western culture, trying hard to fit in with their peers, the kids usually go out of control. Indian parents believe in disciplining their kids. In USA, small kids are coached in school to dial '911' if they sense any aggression from the parents. Police will come and the arrest the parents straight away. This is just one of the differences in culture that rips an Indian parent up. Every so often, we come across yet another frustrated parent.

Once during our flight back from USA, a mother with two children was sitting nearby. The boy was jumping and troubling his mother a lot. When we were nearing Mumbai, the mother caught the boy's shoulder, forced him to sit down and said, “Now this is not America. If you don't behave, I  will thrash you". The agony and helplessness in her voice was palpable.   

 ADHD?

 During my Reiki class, a mother cried and told me," Doctor, I have only one son who is nine years old. When we come to India, he is absolutely fine. He is an active child, gets along well with his cousins and plays outdoors. But in the American school, he is diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) and he will not be allowed to sit in the class unless I give him the tablet for ADHD every day. Being a doctor I know its chemical structure is similar to that of  morphine. I am really worried how it will affect my child."

 No boyfriend ?

Our colleague who chose to settle in America had to face another  problem when his daughter turned 13 years. The daughter was brought up with strict Indian values. The father was called to the school one day, where he was advised to show his daughter  to a psychiatrist.

He was shocked," But she  is a normal child."

"She is a teenager now and still doesn't have a boyfriend."

He immediately moved back to India, with family.

Helpless father

 Another father was having sleepless nights as his teenage daughter was being dropped home late in the nights by her boyfriends. On the pretext of granny being seriously ill, he brought the daughter to India. The moment they reached, he tore her passport and threw it away. "You are going to stay with your granny and complete your studies." 

 Living in constant fear.

Many Indians parents live in constant fear that their kids might lose Indian values. On weekends they will wake them up very early, dress them in Indian clothes and take to Chinmaya  mission lectures (or something similar).  Their Indian counterparts have the luxury of sleeping late on weekends.

You lose your children

Raising kids abroad and yet expecting them to have all Indian values is largely an unrealistic expectation in the face of the peer pressure. We know many families where children retort if parents visit them without prior appointment. On losing the spouse, these American settled persons' lives become total hell. One lady was about to commit suicide due to the harsh behavior of her kids, and her sister had to rush to her rescue, taking her to her own house.

 The three generations

     

1.  The generation that migrated to a foreign country may still have attachment and reverence for their parents, but they can't be of help to them in their old age, which hurts them. And when they look at their kids, "American Born confused Desis", they wonder what they have gained by having kids.

 2. The parents back in India are just waiting for their last day, with  unshed tears filling up their hearts.

3. And the children - well, time will tell what type of personalities they develop into. One just have to peep into WhatsApp messages where these ABCDs are proclaiming India as an unworthy place to live in.

One obsession. Three generations doomed.

July 2018

OOps! I was wrong. It is not three generations, but four generations. I have seen that the grand parents of many who have left India are still alive here. In old age, they look forward to the company of their kids (who are retired now), especially when they have to undergo surgeries or if they are bed ridden. But sadly, they have to go to USA to help their children look after the kids, and are not available to their parents.

The Vietnam saga

Vietnam reminded me so much of my native state, Kerala, "The God's own country". The paddy fields lined with coconut trees, jackfruit trees laden with fruits, the canals and boats, it was really nostalgic. We love travelling and roam far and wide, but this visit to Vietnam - THAT WAS ONE TRIP - the brightest spot in my life! Can I pinpoint one reason why it is so? No, no way. There were too many things that made us happy, sad, exhilarated and frustrated, experience peace and wonderment, that made us fall in love with Vietnam and its beautiful, kind people.

                                                           Just like in Kerala.......

My childhood memories

I was a school girl when the Vietnam war happened. The newspapers and magazines carried pictures of violence against Vietnamese people by American soldiers. One particular picture  never left me - two American soldiers taking out the liver of a live Vietnamese man. I recoiled in horror on seeing that picture, my heart bled for those suffering innocent people. While visiting the war museum in Ho Chi Minh, I saw the tunnel where three children hid. They were drawn out by American soldiers, the smallest child ( 6 years old) was disemboweled and the other two stabbed. Oh Humanity, where were thou?

Bye to the past

With all those memories, I was expecting a heavy atmosphere, laden with sadness and depression while landing in Vietnam. To my relief and surprise, the atmosphere was so light, I could sense the peace, joy and grounding of the population. The people were kind and helpful. They are very hard working, with a pleasant countenance always.

We got friendly with a  staff in the tour agency. Vietnam war veterans in America suffered for years, in spite of best medical facilities and psychiatric counselling.  Then how come the Vietnamese people left the trauma and tragedy behind and moved ahead, we asked her.

" Oh, we just leave our past behind and look towards the future and work hard to make dreams come true. We have opened our land and hearts to people from countries that had oppressed us. War is no solution for any problem. Nobody wins in a war. I hope nobody suffers in future like our country suffered." Now, that is real wisdom!

For them, work is worship. Majority of people wake up by 5 am and others by 6 am. In the Ho Chi Minh city of ten million population, there are seven million two wheelers. So you can imagine the sea of two wheelers on the road. But you don't see the impatience as we are used to in India. Patience is a real virtue of these people, I wish to imbibe some of it.

The bus journey

The speed limit for buses in the city is 50 km/hour and in the highways it is 70. We took an overnight sleeper bus ride from Hue to Hoi An. The seats were at the level of the bus floor, and almost totally fully reclinable. When we arrived Hoi An, there was no tiredness at all, which is always there during our overnight bus journeys in India. We concluded that sleeping position on the floor and the slow speed of the bus didn't cause any jerks and it was almost like sleeping on a bed at home.

View inside the bus

Hospitals are hard to see

In Belgaum (which is not a very large city) where we live, when one walks, every five minutes we see a 'Multispecialty' or a 'Super specialty' hospital and all of them are thronged with patients.

In Vietnam, I hardly got to see huge hospitals, when we have traveled almost the entire length of the country. This set me to thinking. Their life is slow paced, they have a proper family life, which is considered a great stress buster. There is no compartmentalization of family life and business. In majority of the cases, the business (whether it is  a shop, hotel, or tour agency) is done in the front portion of their houses.

Many street food vendors are  house wives, trying to generate some extra income. In the evening, you see their kids sitting near them, either helping them, playing or doing homework.

They can squat on the floor for extended periods of time, which is very good for the health of the hip and knee joints. Their food is large bowls of non-vegetarian soup, with a plate heaped with a variety of fresh leaves. We could hardly find obese people there.

Their chairs and stools are so low, so when they sit, it is very close to the ground. I think this definitely keeps the people grounded, apart from the second important factor, making bonsais.

Bonsai galore

In Vietnam, you see bonsas everywhere. It is such a feast to the eyes. Tending to these trees, bringing structure and grooming the growth, must definitely be influencing their mental attitude too.

Agriculture

One of our tour guides who was a war veteran, told us that after the war, Vietnam was subjected to sanctions and trade embargos by much of the western world. There was a severe famine, which took millions of lives.

"We were really hungry, and there was nothing to eat. One family got five kgs of rice a month. A family usually has at least six members and rice is our staple food. So we got down to farming. Now 90% of the population are farmers."

And they have taken long strides in the field of agriculture. Today it is one of the largest exporters of rice, cashew, fruits and many other things.

The bamboo theory

During the day tour by bus and boat in Hue, we had a nice tour guide who was very knowledgeable. He told that there are 54 ethnic groups in Vietnam. It is easy for foreign invaders to divide and rule. Remember what happened in India? Chenghis Khan, the 13th century warrior in central Asia who founded the Mongol empire, one of the largest empires in history, tried to overpower Vietnam four times, but he had to retreat. How did it happen?

Vietnam had a clever leader in Minh Mang. He did two things:

1. He told the people that all Vietnamese people originated from same parents. There is the temple of mother of all Vietnamese people, 'Hon Chen' temple, commonly known as Goddess of Vietnam temple, located on the banks of the Perfume river. People from all over Vietnam come here to worship the mother.

2. All school children are taught the 'bamboo theory'. They are given chopsticks and asked to break as many as they can, with their hands, in a given period of time. Whoever breaks maximum number of chopsticks is then given a bundle of chopsticks, tied together. As the child finds it impossible to break the chopsticks bound together, the lesson " United we stand, Divided we fall" is driven deep into their psyche.
The base color of their national flag is red, to remind them that 'We got freedom by shedding our blood. Don't do anything that can take away our freedom."

Street foods

Street food is available everywhere. We had an equivalent of 'pazham pori' ( a Kerala preparation made by deep frying banana sliced covered in batter). The steamed rice cakes with slices of plantain in the center and served with sabudana kheer was awesome.

The street foods are costly as compared to the pricing in good hotels, we just couldn't figure out why.

Coconut candies were delicious. Spring rolls made by wrapping in rice paper and either frying or steaming were worth the try.

Food problem

For vegetarians, Vietnam may turn out a nightmare. Getting a fully vegetarian meal is like walking on thorns, like we suffered every day. But one can manage by doing some homework. Everybody cannot speak English.You got to learn some Vietnamese words and be on your guard when they are cooking.

Beef and pork are widely eaten. In a hotel where we entered for lunch, when we saw huge frogs and snakes in glass boxes (customers can point to whichever they want to eat and it will be cooked and served), we just turned around and fled. They even had rat dishes on their menu.

No milk and milk products

We saw lots of cows and buffaloes during our journey. While talking to our taxi driver/ tour guide, he told they are not milked. Beef they eat and buffaloes are for ploughing the fields. When we told that we drink buffalo milk in India, he was amused and started laughing. Condensed milk tins are available, which they gave us to add to the black coffee.

Marble mountain

The highlight of our journey was the visit to marble mountain . Marble Mountains is a cluster of five marble and limestone hills located in Ngu Hanh Son ward, south of Da Nang city in Vietnam.These mountains are dotted with caves, several of which have Buddhist pagodas.Marble mountains are of spiritual significance to the Vietnamese, and they were a base for the Viet Cong fighters during the Vietnam war. As you walk through the narrow spaces in the mountain, suddenly you come upon a huge space, with very large statues of Buddha and you are so humbled!

Memorable home stay

Home stay was arranged for us for a day at the Ba Hung Homestay in Binh Hoa Phuoc - Lonh Ho in Vin Long Province. They prepared awesome vegetarian dinner for us and gave cycles to go around the village.

The cabin where we slept

                                          Spent some time at night relaxing on these hammocks

There were many fish in this pond, they will come to the surface and flip when we stand nearby. Got to see mudskippers here for the first time

Musings on China

In the recent times, China is a popular destination for foreign tourists. It is fascinating to watch the different culture, way of life, ancient cities and fast modernization.

Guangzhou is a tourism city and a famous culture city with a history of more than 2,200 years. We got an opportunity to visit Guangzhou in the pretext of attending the Dental South China International Expo 2015.

                             
 Canton Tower                                                               Majestic statue of Buddha

Five Rams statue

Across the Pearl river

It is almost impossible to communicate in China.  Nobody knows even common words  like "What", "Where", "Coffee" e.t.c.,  The surprising thing is they can't even understand sign language. Basically they are very helpful people  and generally don't cheat.  They  are very noisy people. There  is so much cacophony in the  restaurants.

In Guangzhou, the whole city was stinking - different areas have different offensive smells. Is it because they are staunch non vegetarians and eat almost any living thing? It is  not easy to get  normal coffee or tea (with milk  and sugar).

Living beings waiting to be eaten:

    All the ladies here are trim. They  wear very short skirts - but no cleavage exposure. It was a stark difference to India that men don't stare or give  side way glances, or try to establish body contact with women even in the crowded metro.

We saw "Swastika" in many places,  but in opposite direction. On a small statue of Buddha, over the chest there was Swastika in anticlockwise direction.

Soda versus green tea:

While walking around  in Guangzhou, the striking factor was that all Chinese people were in good body shape.When I watched people having meals in restaurants, I realized that they eat well. But it is healthy food. Lots of vegetables, meat and soups, but rice is taken in small bowls. I thought this must be one of the factors helping them to maintain body shape.

The second reason, according to me, is the fact that they use chop sticks to eat. Food quantity that can be taken to the mouth at a time is much less as compared to what one can take, when using a spoon, fork, or eating with hands.

Then, they drink a lot of green tee, even during meals. This must be having a definite role in keeping the body fat down. I remembered that in American streets, people walk around with large glasses of soda (aerated drinks) and there is so much obesity there. Chinese people always carry flasks of green tea.

Another interesting fact I noticed was that they prefer steps to lifts. In the railway platform, everyone was using the stairs, even long ones, and the lifts were lying idle.

I have to mention that we managed to get some awesome vegetarian food here.

Awesome banana fry