Gratitude Vs Entitlement

 

The side effect of nuclear families

In a family with one or two children, the kids are made to feel they are special. They are so much protected and all wishes fulfilled that when they go out into the world, they become misfit. They are incapable of dealing with disappointments and seek immediate rewards. Working hard for months or years together just for the sake of doing it, is alien to them. A glance at the news gives ample examples for this: teenagers committing suicide, injuring parents for not providing with expensive mobile phones etc.,

Parents have failed to instil gratitude in their spoilt apples of their eye. I see this as a grave situation for the future and it is of utmost importance for the parents to give a deep thought to the way they are raising their kids.

And the older generation....

While I was thinking that it is a problem with children, a couple of clients approached me for healing their parents. The parents were having physical problems which were easily treatable with simple measures. And they get benefit too, but would find some reason/excuse to discontinue doing whatever they were supposed to do.

Since I know learning Reiki can help them tremendously, I advise them to learn and practice Reiki healing daily. Many of them straightaway refuse to learn. And a few who do learn, stop practicing soon. It surprises me beyond imagination why they can’t follow a daily routine and do things like getting up early, doing yoga, daily walk, pranayama, healthy eating habit etc., in spite of all the time they have got.

There comes the entitlement

Slowly it dawned on me, they think they have earned a status for being looked after by children since they have “sacrificed” their comforts and ambitions for the future of their progeny. This creates problems because the adult children are in the peak of their career, with their own children to care for. And it is further complicated if the children are settled abroad. Old parents resent the fact that they are not coming to India often. They only have done everything possible to see that their children go abroad for studies and jobs (sometimes even by taking huge loans), and when that happens, they are not ready to accept the things that come along with them!

Hearts being torn

This creates a lot of pain for the adult children. They want to see their parents happy, but they are always cribbing. May be the parents think that if they remain healthy and happy , they may not get attention of their children!

Because the mind is sad and frustrated, the children remain annoyed, irritated and exasperated. To a recent client in such a situation, I told to respect the decision of the parent’s soul to remain in the current situation. The best one can do in this scenario is to make the parent feel that he/she is there with the parent and do whatever they can do in their situation. Especially, keep sending Reiki healing to the parent. It is a balanced way of nurturing old parents.This was a new approach and the client was so grateful for this advice.  

The probable solution

If one has to live with peace and contentment, the only solution may be to practice gratitude for whatever one has got in life. If children are abroad and the parent is bed ridden, they are being looked after by in house nurse that the children arrange for them. They can try to be grateful for the fact that even if the children are not with them, they are being looked after and their medical problems addressed.

And the growing up children should also be trained in a similar way, to have gratitude for all the comforts available at home, instead of cribbing for the foreign trips that their friends may be enjoying.