Of bullet trains and tears

Let us run the family together

Our teeth- An important asset

Sweden sweeps me off my feet

A Coorgi wedding

I was fortunate to get an opportunity to attend a Coorgi wedding. The first surprise that welcomed me on reaching the venue was the sight of natural pleasant faced ladies. These days it has become the norm for ladies, in whatever age group they are, to make a trip to the beauty parlor before any function. It is just sympathy that fills my heart when I see even septugenarians with painted faces that look so out of place. Somewhere along the line the fairer sex has forgotten the concept of graceful aging. Here I was lucky to feast my eyes on faces that reflected wisdom and compassion, without the overlying thick layers of foundation, compact powder and rouge.

It was heartening to see that the youngsters were giving due respect to the elders by greeting them and touching their feet. The older generation was really taken care of, and attended on.

Even though the families were very well off, there was no ugly display of wealth by providing two hundred items for the feast. This is another sad trend that is catching up. There will be a menu of innumerable items, but I have experienced on many occasions that the quality would be compromised. Here there were a few select items, but each one was a gastronomic delight!

I have to admit that the ladies had good esthetic sense in the selection of jewellery. They were very different from the ones I usually see in other parts of India.

And finally it was a great experience to participate in the traditional dance programme that followed the dinner.

The sampige saga

 We planted a sampige sapling outside our house 18 years back. Since then I have been dreaming of the tree laden with flowers. I am crazy for its heady fragrance. I watered the plant with love, talked to it and waited for the blooms to show up.

Weeks passed to months, months passed to years. Then I thought that sampige may be having male and female trees like some other plants, and it may not flower. But during a meeting with a friend who is a forest officer, he assured me that it will definitely flower one day.

My hope was rekindled and I started to talk to the tree again, standing on the terrace. On 19^th May 2013, I was sitting on the lawn and looked up at the tree. I could see some yellow color among the leaves. My heart stopped for a second. Was I seeing flowers? Yes, they were!

My happiness knew no bounds and I ran to the terrace to take a closer look. And I was surprised to see that all the flowers were on the branch that was closest to the terrace, where I used to stand and talk to the tree!

Flower thieves of Belgaum.

 The flower thieves of Belgaum are not qualified thieves, but ordinary house wives. They will take a walk around the houses that have flowering plants, just before the sunrise of soon after, plucking flowers from other’s gardens. They will lean against the walls, lower the branches and take the flowers. They will even open the gates, go inside the house and pluck flowers. If by chance the neighbors question, they are made to keep quiet by the retort, “Is it your house? What right do you have to object?’

It is really sad to see that they will not only pluck the flowers, but also the buds, that too, very tender ones! They can be so hard hearted that they may not leave any flowers for the lady of the house.

On the road divider in front of our clinic, we got some flowering plants maintained by a gardener. The watering is done from our clinic. We had a dream of looking at the flowers from the clinic windows. But the local flower thieves will not leave even buds on the plants. Many times, on our way to yoga class early morning, we will encounter these ladies plucking flowers and buds. When I try to stop them, they will say,’ It is for the Gods. We do puja with them”, as if they are doing a great service to the humanity!

When I reply, “God won’t accept flowers got by stealing. You have to grow plants in your house and offer them.” If I thought that those words would make a dent on their conscience, it was my mistake.

Next time I tried a different approach. I asked the lady, “Are you doing anything for these plants? Do you water them? We are maintaining these plants and watering them. Let every body have the joy of seeing these flowers.”

The lady was quick with her response, “But the plants are on the road, this is public property. So I will pluck them.”

Aha! Look at her defiance. I responded, “These street lights are also on the road. Take away the light bulbs to your house, they are public property.” She immediately left, to come back later when I was gone.

I have stayed in different parts of India, but this flower theft is most rampant in Belgaum. Established flower thieves will always have plastic bags with them to collect the flowers. Novices will keep the flowers in their sari pallu. Once in a while you can see some old men also doing the theft.

I have only one mode of action, fold my hands and pray to God, to instill some civic sense in my fellow country women.

The uniqueness of Rameshwaram

My solah somavar vrat was approaching the final lap when our relatives were planning a trip to Ramaeshwaram. ‘We would like your company,’ they told. We also like to be with them, since the head of the family reads Puranas every day for two hours for the past two decades and we get so much information during conversations with him.

Train tickets to Madurai were booked, but our numbers were way down in the waiting list. ‘If the tickets get confirmed, we will go’, we decided. The trip was supposed to be on 27^th March, just after my last ‘solah somavar’ Monday (25th March).

The waiting list numbers came to 2 and 3 by 24^th. But a 24 hour train journey cannot be undertaken without confirmation. Any way we did the packing and waited, and waited. On 26the evening at 5 pm, our tickets were confirmed!

So we set out on our journey, remembering to carry the Ganga jal that we had brought from up North years ago. One is supposed to do abhishek with Ganga jal on the idol at Rameshwaram. The visit to Rameshwaram was finishing our ‘Char Dham yatra’ too.

Reaching Madurai on 28^th early morning, we rushed to the hotel where our relatives were put up, had a quick shower and got ready to visit the Meenakshi temple. After having a nice darshan, finished our lunch and started for the car ride to Rameshwaram. By night fall, we reached the hotel that our friend had booked. He told us to be ready by 5 am next day morning to go for ‘Sphatik Shivling’ darshan, which is possible only from 5 to 6 am. This Shivling was gifted by the Raja of Nepal 900 years ago.

Before the darshan of the main idol, we had a dip in the sea, in the ‘Agni Teerth”. Then we went around the 22 teerths, which are wells established by different sages. When we stand near the well, the person responsible for that particular well will draw water and pour over our heads. It is supposed to wash off sins. Since our hotel was nearby, we went back and changed.

Taking our Ganga Jal with us, we went to the main sanctum Santorum. Our Ganga Jal was poured into a big bucket of water and the pujari poured the water over the idol of Shivling. It was such a bhakti filled moment, I got goose flesh. My eyes closed automatically and I got the feeling of weightlessness. It was an amazing experience!

What is unique about Rameshwaram? The Vaishnavites and Shaivites meet here. It is told that when Lord Rama was asked what is Rameshwaram, he replied, ‘Where Rama’s eshwar ( Lord Shiva) resides.’ On putting the same question to Lord Shiva, his response was ‘Where Rama is Eshwar (Lord Shiva worships Rama).

Antivirus system for you

When someone thinks that a physical problem can exist without a mental component, it just means that he/she does not have a deep understanding of life. The mind body connection is becoming more and more clear to scientists.

We all have heard some time or the other, ‘He got a liver damage. Very surprising, he never touched alcohol!’ As a spiritual healer, I know that anger can damage the liver more than chronic alcohol consumption. Holding onto anger for long periods of time or projecting a serene self when actually one is boiling inside, can totally throw the liver out of gear.

So how can we come out of the emotional imbalances? All of us know that anger, jealousy, hatred etc., are not good for us and we want to come out of them. But is it an easy task? Intellectually thinking that you want to get rid of these major enemies of our system, and trying to do so will bring almost no positive results.

It is here that learning Reiki comes to your rescue. It looks so simple, but can have profound effect on your quality of life. All you have to do, after getting attuned to Reiki by a Reiki teacher/master, is to do Reiki self healing every day. If you can give Reiki healing to others also, all the more better.

The electromagnetic vibration of Reiki, which has an intelligence of its own, brings balance in every aspect of your life.

It takes you gradually to the higher planes of life. Slowly, problems cease to look like problems, but challenges that you think you are capable of overcoming. Whatever armamentarium that you need to meet the every day challenges, is right there with you, because Reiki provides them.

Just like you work peacefully on your computer after you have installed a powerful antivirus programme, you can go through your life in a peaceful and calm manner. You develop the strong faith and experience it in daily life, that the Reiki energy running as the background programme, can have a powerful impact in the way you experience life!

Striking the Chord

Self realization happens when your chord is struck. What is the chord
and what is striking it? The chord extends from the brain to the heart.
and it is the Grace that should strike this chord for one to experience
the ultimate state. We know that we don't have any control on the
Grace. That will happen when the appropriate time comes. What is in our control is to prepare the chord so that it produces the correct sound when struck.
First of all the chord may not be taut. How can it be made taut? When the intellectual understanding matures to understanding from the heart, or experiential understanding, the  chord becomes taut. Then again, there may be coating on the chord that will not let the appropriate melody to emanate. And what is this coating? It is the desire in one's mind. As long as one is riddled with desires, it is impossible to realize the true self.
Thus it should be clear that though self realization can happen in the blink of an eye, the preparation time varies from person to person.it may take only ten years, or it may take several incarnations!

Vanishing Homes

Every body knows the saying ‘Home, sweet home.’ How does a house become a sweet home? Who is more capable of doing that transformation? A man or a lady? Of course it is a lady (exceptions may be there). It is because God has gifted females with some unique qualities. She has tremendous endurance, patience, strength of will, perseverance, a will to sacrifice and the heart of a mother. Well, it used to be.

Now when I look around, I don’t see many real ‘ladies’. Physically they may look like ladies, but by thoughts and deeds they are men. By non use of their tremendous God gifted qualities, they are impatient, lethargic, and self centered, with no will to do any sacrifice, and love procrastination. They want to have a care free, adventurous life without any responsibilities, especially long term ones. Tragically, the last mentioned quality is widely spread in many males too.

A loving, hard working, patient, and smiling female is a fast disappearing species. I had watched my grand mother with admiration. She was a school teacher, raised 9 kids, who were all educated and well settled later. She had cows to look after, paddy used to come from the fields, she had to boil them in large vessels (in Kerala we eat parboiled rice) and store the rice in ‘pathayam’. She made sweets for her grand children during the festivals. Now it is more of eating even ‘Ona sadya’ in hotels.

At times it is sad to see that girls refuse to become ladies. Refusing to take even small responsibilities, they behave like teenagers. Well, there comes the generation gap. Accept the reality, say adieu to ‘Vanishing Homes’.

My tryst with Vipassana

I have been toying with the idea of doing a ten day Vipassana course since long time. Then the urge started getting very strong and I signed up for the January second half.

We had to reach the place by 3 pm on the previous day. I got a double room and my room mate was a 1^st year Ayurveda course student. We reached the room and just arranged our things. There was hardly any time to talk to her before the gong sounded for the evening tea. Afterwards the instructions for the next ten days was given and they announced that the course just started, which meant no more communication with each other, through talking, sign language or eye contact. We were expected to move around with down cast eyes. The areas for male and female were totally separated. Then we had our first meditation session. In the hall that could accommodate about 100 people, the vibration was great and the mind was not wandering during the meditation.

Next morning, at the sound of the gong, we got up at 4 am and got ready, packing ourselves with warm clothes and went for the meditation at 4.30 am. It lasted till 6.30, drowsiness was a problem during this two continuous hours. The gong sounded at 6.30 and we were off to the dining hall for the breakfast. Coming to the room my room mate and I did our morning rituals systematically and I was really astonished that without verbal communication also how we could function so easily and efficiently.

From 8 am to 11 am the next meditation session, every one and a half hours we were given five minutes ‘rest’ period when we could stretch ourselves and drink water. Delicious lunch was served at 11 o’clock. Well, it was not delicious for every body because it was not oily or spicy food. During the free time till the next meditation session at 1 o’clock, my room mate and I chose to have a nap. I am not one who takes naps, but after sitting continuously for meditation, one just wants to stretch on the bed and then naturally the sleep God takes over.

From one o’clock to 5 pm was the longest session of the day, with of course five minutes rest period in between. The evening fruit and tea was at five and after that we could walk around in the restricted area. From 6 to 9 pm again it was meditation, with one hour presentation of Shri S N Goenka in between. The presentation explained the philosophy of Vipassana and gave instructions for the meditation technique for the next day. The fact that no dinner was served (exceptions for medically compromised participants) was a difficult situation for many.

There were ladies above 60 years of age on my left side, and to my right were foreign participants. The old ladies had tough time sitting in the same posture for long time and kept on shifting. But to my surprise, by fourth and fifth day, they could sit in cross legged position for one hour stretches. Some of the foreign participants were yoga practitioners, so it was a joy to see them sitting like sadhus for the meditations.

The first four days were comparatively boring, since we were being trained to develop the sensitivity to the bodily sensations. Fifth day onwards it was amazing for me. After all these years of preparations in different aspects of spirituality, I felt as if I got at last the missing link! It was a different first hand experience to see clearly how one creates the web of Maya around oneself, and an exhilarating sense of relief to obtain the method to stop creating new karmic knots, and also to gradually keep opening the old karmic knots. I got the technique, now it is in my hands to walk the path and reach the final goal.

On the ninth day morning the vow of silence was over. We were instructed not to touch one another, even though we could now talk. I could understand why it was so; the energy that had built up in our system due to the silence was so much that some time was needed for its proper assimilation. It is unimaginable how much energy we conserve by remaining silent. In other words, what a tremendous amount of energy is wasted every moment by needless conversations and thoughts!

I reached my room and in a few seconds, one of the foreign participants, from an island near France, came to meet me. She told, ‘You are the first lady I wanted to talk to after the silence period. It was a joy to sit near you during meditations. You were sitting like a stone, not fidgeting in between like many others.’ I thanked her and told it was due to my yoga practice.

It was not easy to stay in isolation from the outside world for ten days, but every moment spent there was worth it. Now I got the essence of living, the proper technique to deal with day to day ups and downs. I got the first hand experience of the tremendous energy and power within us. One needs to just delve inside, to draw the energy; there is no need to keep hugging others for the sole purpose of extracting their energy!

A matter of time

Why is it that the one who filled your heart once

Has to empty it completely now?

Why is it that all your words once listened to,

Are received with hatred later?

Why is it that those eyes that exuded love,

Now refuse to look at your face?

Why is it that the one that shared so much,

Has nothing to say now?

Why is it that the involvement considered love,

Now feels smothering?

Why is it that the opinions once heeded to,

Seems like taking control over the other?

Oh my heart, understand the rules of this mortal world,

Nothing remains the same, everything has to change.

We are here to experience both sides of the coins.

Move ahead, and learn the lessons

There is no time to mourn, there is no time to mourn!

The spark in your eyes

It was the spark in your eyes,

That brought me to you, yes.

And destiny pulled us together,

For life’s lessons to gather.

As each dream started coming true,

Faith and trust firmly made them glued.

Beauty of the dream house attracted,

Many a craving soul who coveted.

To own beautiful possessions,

They longed without many exertions.

Flying in the air you didn’t mind,

Letting them in from behind,

Unaware of the faith and trust,

Being eaten away most.

All things once beautiful,

Slowly turned more awful.

Opinions once given credit to,

Are no longer worthy of listening to.

As new players came into the field,

Their words to your heart you held.

It was the spark in your eyes,

That brought me to you, yes.

But now those eyes don’t consider,

My face worthy to ponder.

As I count my blessings,

Each day that brings,

I thank God for the spark in your eyes,

What if it is for others!

Beauty of Ladakh

Though I have traveled quite a bit, when I saw Ladakh, there were no words to describe its beauty. The deep colors of the sky, changing colors of the lakes, possibility of witnessing a snowstorm, thunderstorm and a sand storm in the same trip of about 8 hours; these are unique in this region. Within a period of hours one will pass through desert, snow clad mountains and lakes. There are beautiful flowers to see and admire. And the taste of luscious peaches and apples, oh my God, it is divine!

The people are innocent and so helpful. We could get awesome food throughout the stay of two weeks. For the spiritually inclined, the monasteries give opportunity to experience divine vibrations and deep meditations.

But before deciding on a trip to the mountains, one has to keep certain things in mind. For anyone having asthmatic attacks, it is better to stay away from the adventure. With the oxygen levels dipping down drastically, they can have a difficult time.

If you have two weeks to spare, you can stay in Leh and make trips to the lakes on mountains. We used to go to one lake, stay overnight in the tent and come back to Leh the next day.

 In some places the tent will have attached toilet, but other times, it may be common toilet outside the tent. The road journey to the lakes will take about 7 to 8 hours and when you have to use the toilet during the journey, you should know what to expect.

The toilet is a deep pit, over which some wooden planks are kept. The spaces between the planks are very wide, giving a full view of the contents below and if your nose is sharp, you will have to hold your breath. I was shocked to see that even in some of the monasteries, toilets are of this type.   

Wherever the tents are put up, there is no electricity and they provide light from 8 pm to 10 pm with generators. That means there is no hot water supply. They do give warm water to drink. Forget about taking bath during the stays in the tents. But don’t worry, you won’t be allowed to stay for more than two days.

They do provide good blankets for night, but when the temperature is so low, the touch of the blanket or bed sheet will be like that of ice. You can get hot water bags if you request, that is what made it possible for me to gather courage to get into the bed.

The 7 to 8 hour journeys will be through very bumpy roads and by the end, all your neck muscles will be aching so badly due to the continuous jerking. But next morning after your hot water bath (when ever you are in Leh, not near the lakes) you will feel so fresh and ready to take on the trip for the day.

Breathing is going to be strenuous due to the dipping oxygen levels. Climbing ten steps will make you feel like you had been jogging for ten minutes. Towards the end of two weeks, you will be feeling much better, because the body will get acclimatized.

In spite of all this, I would still recommend that it is a journey worth embarking upon!

The choice

The fruit of sin, Oh so beautiful

Look at the mesmerizing color,

The fragrance has made many

Go mad with desire to possess.

To eat or not to eat this fruit of sin,

Is within your control, but isn’t it mean

Not to avail the opportunity,

Who’s bothered about the price

That has to be paid?

As the delicious fruit melts in the mouth,

One is hooked, and wants more and more

And starts finding ways to cheat the loved ones,

Justifications to the sinful deed,

Are many in the mind.

When the flesh is eaten,

And the seed is approached,

The bitterness seep in,

The desire to spit out creep in.

Alas! That’s not the Nature’s way,

The lips get sealed and one is forced,

To chew and take the bitterness totally in.

To eat or not to eat, that is the choice

Nature gives us, but once you take,

There’s no other way than to suffer,

The consequences till the last.

The role you are playing as a human is no guarantee of happiness. The way you play it is. –Len Berg

This is a very important aspect of life. More important than what you are, how one plays the role is going to make all the difference in life. The greatest example is that of Sant Rahidas, who was a cobbler by profession. He would always be chanting and thinking about Vitthal, getting lost in his thoughts about God by singing his praise even while working.

So whatever one may be, what is it that one is doing during most of the time is going to define that person and this helps us to decide whether he/she deserves to have ‘satsang’ with. Human life is sacred, and each moment lost may mean another life time to come back to rectify the mistake.

Planning or spontaneity?

Should we plan things or just be spontaneous? There are people who will argue vehemently for both the views. As always, I look upon Nature for guidance. Does Nature plan things? You bet. Just as the summer heat spreads, we find water melons ready to be eaten. If the flowering didn't happen at the time it did, do you think the fruits will be ready? The birds prepare nests before laying eggs. We will get ample examples around us.

But we as human beings are an elevated lot, right? As for me, it is not whether one should plan or not, the important aspect is in not getting attached to the result of our planning. Using our intellect and common sense, we have to plan things that need to be planned, but if they don't go the way they are planned, it should not affect our mental status. It also helps to have the faith that something better is in the offing, that's why the plan didn't materialize.

Then there are aspects where spontaneity is needed. Let's enjoy the surprises in life too.

For one who does multi tasking, planning makes life smooth and enjoyable, otherwise it can be hectic and very tiresome. Like if I want to enjoy home made dosas on Sunday morning, I have to plan and start preparations right from Saturday morning.

At the same time, I enjoy the surprises during a vacation trip, when minor aspects are not planned. So it is for us to decide which aspects of life need planning.

Words of wisdom from an octogenarian

Just back from kerala and the sweltering heat. While happily boarding the A/C compartment, little did I realize that the journey was going to be educative as well. There was an old couple sitting adjacent and we struck a conversation with them. They were siblings, the lady 87 years old and the man 85!. She is a spinster and when asked why she didn't marry, she told ' never felt the need to do so.' The younger brother was a family man, but since his wife doesn't keep good health, he tours with his sister to explore new places.

We were curious to know what her understanding of life was, from 87 years of experience.

'Stand for truth, be true to yourself. Try to achieve perfection in whatever you do' was her clear message.

What does she think of the new generation?

'They are blindly following the rat race, without realizing that materialistic things cannot give lasting happiness. But they don't have any role models now. Money has assumed to status of God for many.'

Both of them acknowledged to the fact that there are ample good people around, and because of them the world is going on. Many people help them during their travels by fetching drinking water and exchanging their lower berths.

As always, I asked for some tips to maintain a healthy body in the old age.

'Get up early in the morning. do yoga and pranayama for at least an hour. Eat less and have more of raw food.'

I couldn't resist my standard question I have for any healthy lady above 80 years of age. 'Do you wash your clothes?'

'Yes. of course, I sit and wash all my clothes. Only the bed sheets go into the washing machine.' Is it just coincidence that all the 80 years and above healthy ladies (I have encountered about half a dozen) cook and wash their clothes?

To my li’l sis

Diwali is here, and my heart wrenches

At the thought I won’t hear your voice,

Wishing me all the luck and happiness.

I always knew yours was a higher soul,

But it was this pure and innocent,

I came to know only after you left me.

Your face was so serene and blissful,

I felt your eyes will open any moment,

And your lips will widen into a beautiful smile.

Your cheeks were cold to my touch,

How I wished I could infuse

Warmth into your body from mine!

Your feet were hard, did it hurt

When you remained

In the cold chamber for long?

You never liked cold,

And I’m sure you were aware

How fervently I was praying for you..

If my healings have contributed

To your passing away so peacefully,

I am for ever indebted to God.

Though you got many a rough deal from life

You never showed it on your smiling face,

Truly you were a God’s child!

You touched the lives of many,

And always had something worth

To impart to all those who met you.

You were Grace personified while accepting gifts

Your brightened face compensated for

All the troubles I had in selecting them for you.

You never complained they were not up to your liking,

Because you could sense the feelings behind!

I am thankful to God for giving me

So many wonderful years

Of togetherness with you

I am thankful to God for never

Bringing materialistic thoughts and things

Into our relationship

I am thankful to God for giving us

Opportunities and the mindset to enrich

Each other’s lives in so many ways

I’m sure you are waiting to welcome me

To join you in Eternal Bliss

If we have to take earthly forms again,

It is my prayer to the Almighty,

To make us sisters again!

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