Vanishing Homes

Every body knows the saying ‘Home, sweet home.’ How does a house become a sweet home? Who is more capable of doing that transformation? A man or a lady? Of course it is a lady (exceptions may be there). It is because God has gifted females with some unique qualities. She has tremendous endurance, patience, strength of will, perseverance, a will to sacrifice and the heart of a mother. Well, it used to be.

Now when I look around, I don’t see many real ‘ladies’. Physically they may look like ladies, but by thoughts and deeds they are men. By non use of their tremendous God gifted qualities, they are impatient, lethargic, and self centered, with no will to do any sacrifice, and love procrastination. They want to have a care free, adventurous life without any responsibilities, especially long term ones. Tragically, the last mentioned quality is widely spread in many males too.

A loving, hard working, patient, and smiling female is a fast disappearing species. I had watched my grand mother with admiration. She was a school teacher, raised 9 kids, who were all educated and well settled later. She had cows to look after, paddy used to come from the fields, she had to boil them in large vessels (in Kerala we eat parboiled rice) and store the rice in ‘pathayam’. She made sweets for her grand children during the festivals. Now it is more of eating even ‘Ona sadya’ in hotels.

At times it is sad to see that girls refuse to become ladies. Refusing to take even small responsibilities, they behave like teenagers. Well, there comes the generation gap. Accept the reality, say adieu to ‘Vanishing Homes’.

My tryst with Vipassana

I have been toying with the idea of doing a ten day Vipassana course since long time. Then the urge started getting very strong and I signed up for the January second half.

We had to reach the place by 3 pm on the previous day. I got a double room and my room mate was a 1^st year Ayurveda course student. We reached the room and just arranged our things. There was hardly any time to talk to her before the gong sounded for the evening tea. Afterwards the instructions for the next ten days was given and they announced that the course just started, which meant no more communication with each other, through talking, sign language or eye contact. We were expected to move around with down cast eyes. The areas for male and female were totally separated. Then we had our first meditation session. In the hall that could accommodate about 100 people, the vibration was great and the mind was not wandering during the meditation.

Next morning, at the sound of the gong, we got up at 4 am and got ready, packing ourselves with warm clothes and went for the meditation at 4.30 am. It lasted till 6.30, drowsiness was a problem during this two continuous hours. The gong sounded at 6.30 and we were off to the dining hall for the breakfast. Coming to the room my room mate and I did our morning rituals systematically and I was really astonished that without verbal communication also how we could function so easily and efficiently.

From 8 am to 11 am the next meditation session, every one and a half hours we were given five minutes ‘rest’ period when we could stretch ourselves and drink water. Delicious lunch was served at 11 o’clock. Well, it was not delicious for every body because it was not oily or spicy food. During the free time till the next meditation session at 1 o’clock, my room mate and I chose to have a nap. I am not one who takes naps, but after sitting continuously for meditation, one just wants to stretch on the bed and then naturally the sleep God takes over.

From one o’clock to 5 pm was the longest session of the day, with of course five minutes rest period in between. The evening fruit and tea was at five and after that we could walk around in the restricted area. From 6 to 9 pm again it was meditation, with one hour presentation of Shri S N Goenka in between. The presentation explained the philosophy of Vipassana and gave instructions for the meditation technique for the next day. The fact that no dinner was served (exceptions for medically compromised participants) was a difficult situation for many.

There were ladies above 60 years of age on my left side, and to my right were foreign participants. The old ladies had tough time sitting in the same posture for long time and kept on shifting. But to my surprise, by fourth and fifth day, they could sit in cross legged position for one hour stretches. Some of the foreign participants were yoga practitioners, so it was a joy to see them sitting like sadhus for the meditations.

The first four days were comparatively boring, since we were being trained to develop the sensitivity to the bodily sensations. Fifth day onwards it was amazing for me. After all these years of preparations in different aspects of spirituality, I felt as if I got at last the missing link! It was a different first hand experience to see clearly how one creates the web of Maya around oneself, and an exhilarating sense of relief to obtain the method to stop creating new karmic knots, and also to gradually keep opening the old karmic knots. I got the technique, now it is in my hands to walk the path and reach the final goal.

On the ninth day morning the vow of silence was over. We were instructed not to touch one another, even though we could now talk. I could understand why it was so; the energy that had built up in our system due to the silence was so much that some time was needed for its proper assimilation. It is unimaginable how much energy we conserve by remaining silent. In other words, what a tremendous amount of energy is wasted every moment by needless conversations and thoughts!

I reached my room and in a few seconds, one of the foreign participants, from an island near France, came to meet me. She told, ‘You are the first lady I wanted to talk to after the silence period. It was a joy to sit near you during meditations. You were sitting like a stone, not fidgeting in between like many others.’ I thanked her and told it was due to my yoga practice.

It was not easy to stay in isolation from the outside world for ten days, but every moment spent there was worth it. Now I got the essence of living, the proper technique to deal with day to day ups and downs. I got the first hand experience of the tremendous energy and power within us. One needs to just delve inside, to draw the energy; there is no need to keep hugging others for the sole purpose of extracting their energy!

A matter of time

Why is it that the one who filled your heart once

Has to empty it completely now?

Why is it that all your words once listened to,

Are received with hatred later?

Why is it that those eyes that exuded love,

Now refuse to look at your face?

Why is it that the one that shared so much,

Has nothing to say now?

Why is it that the involvement considered love,

Now feels smothering?

Why is it that the opinions once heeded to,

Seems like taking control over the other?

Oh my heart, understand the rules of this mortal world,

Nothing remains the same, everything has to change.

We are here to experience both sides of the coins.

Move ahead, and learn the lessons

There is no time to mourn, there is no time to mourn!

The spark in your eyes

It was the spark in your eyes,

That brought me to you, yes.

And destiny pulled us together,

For life’s lessons to gather.

As each dream started coming true,

Faith and trust firmly made them glued.

Beauty of the dream house attracted,

Many a craving soul who coveted.

To own beautiful possessions,

They longed without many exertions.

Flying in the air you didn’t mind,

Letting them in from behind,

Unaware of the faith and trust,

Being eaten away most.

All things once beautiful,

Slowly turned more awful.

Opinions once given credit to,

Are no longer worthy of listening to.

As new players came into the field,

Their words to your heart you held.

It was the spark in your eyes,

That brought me to you, yes.

But now those eyes don’t consider,

My face worthy to ponder.

As I count my blessings,

Each day that brings,

I thank God for the spark in your eyes,

What if it is for others!

Beauty of Ladakh

Though I have traveled quite a bit, when I saw Ladakh, there were no words to describe its beauty. The deep colors of the sky, changing colors of the lakes, possibility of witnessing a snowstorm, thunderstorm and a sand storm in the same trip of about 8 hours; these are unique in this region. Within a period of hours one will pass through desert, snow clad mountains and lakes. There are beautiful flowers to see and admire. And the taste of luscious peaches and apples, oh my God, it is divine!

The people are innocent and so helpful. We could get awesome food throughout the stay of two weeks. For the spiritually inclined, the monasteries give opportunity to experience divine vibrations and deep meditations.

But before deciding on a trip to the mountains, one has to keep certain things in mind. For anyone having asthmatic attacks, it is better to stay away from the adventure. With the oxygen levels dipping down drastically, they can have a difficult time.

If you have two weeks to spare, you can stay in Leh and make trips to the lakes on mountains. We used to go to one lake, stay overnight in the tent and come back to Leh the next day.

 In some places the tent will have attached toilet, but other times, it may be common toilet outside the tent. The road journey to the lakes will take about 7 to 8 hours and when you have to use the toilet during the journey, you should know what to expect.

The toilet is a deep pit, over which some wooden planks are kept. The spaces between the planks are very wide, giving a full view of the contents below and if your nose is sharp, you will have to hold your breath. I was shocked to see that even in some of the monasteries, toilets are of this type.   

Wherever the tents are put up, there is no electricity and they provide light from 8 pm to 10 pm with generators. That means there is no hot water supply. They do give warm water to drink. Forget about taking bath during the stays in the tents. But don’t worry, you won’t be allowed to stay for more than two days.

They do provide good blankets for night, but when the temperature is so low, the touch of the blanket or bed sheet will be like that of ice. You can get hot water bags if you request, that is what made it possible for me to gather courage to get into the bed.

The 7 to 8 hour journeys will be through very bumpy roads and by the end, all your neck muscles will be aching so badly due to the continuous jerking. But next morning after your hot water bath (when ever you are in Leh, not near the lakes) you will feel so fresh and ready to take on the trip for the day.

Breathing is going to be strenuous due to the dipping oxygen levels. Climbing ten steps will make you feel like you had been jogging for ten minutes. Towards the end of two weeks, you will be feeling much better, because the body will get acclimatized.

In spite of all this, I would still recommend that it is a journey worth embarking upon!

The choice

The fruit of sin, Oh so beautiful

Look at the mesmerizing color,

The fragrance has made many

Go mad with desire to possess.

To eat or not to eat this fruit of sin,

Is within your control, but isn’t it mean

Not to avail the opportunity,

Who’s bothered about the price

That has to be paid?

As the delicious fruit melts in the mouth,

One is hooked, and wants more and more

And starts finding ways to cheat the loved ones,

Justifications to the sinful deed,

Are many in the mind.

When the flesh is eaten,

And the seed is approached,

The bitterness seep in,

The desire to spit out creep in.

Alas! That’s not the Nature’s way,

The lips get sealed and one is forced,

To chew and take the bitterness totally in.

To eat or not to eat, that is the choice

Nature gives us, but once you take,

There’s no other way than to suffer,

The consequences till the last.

The role you are playing as a human is no guarantee of happiness. The way you play it is. –Len Berg

This is a very important aspect of life. More important than what you are, how one plays the role is going to make all the difference in life. The greatest example is that of Sant Rahidas, who was a cobbler by profession. He would always be chanting and thinking about Vitthal, getting lost in his thoughts about God by singing his praise even while working.

So whatever one may be, what is it that one is doing during most of the time is going to define that person and this helps us to decide whether he/she deserves to have ‘satsang’ with. Human life is sacred, and each moment lost may mean another life time to come back to rectify the mistake.

Planning or spontaneity?

Should we plan things or just be spontaneous? There are people who will argue vehemently for both the views. As always, I look upon Nature for guidance. Does Nature plan things? You bet. Just as the summer heat spreads, we find water melons ready to be eaten. If the flowering didn't happen at the time it did, do you think the fruits will be ready? The birds prepare nests before laying eggs. We will get ample examples around us.

But we as human beings are an elevated lot, right? As for me, it is not whether one should plan or not, the important aspect is in not getting attached to the result of our planning. Using our intellect and common sense, we have to plan things that need to be planned, but if they don't go the way they are planned, it should not affect our mental status. It also helps to have the faith that something better is in the offing, that's why the plan didn't materialize.

Then there are aspects where spontaneity is needed. Let's enjoy the surprises in life too.

For one who does multi tasking, planning makes life smooth and enjoyable, otherwise it can be hectic and very tiresome. Like if I want to enjoy home made dosas on Sunday morning, I have to plan and start preparations right from Saturday morning.

At the same time, I enjoy the surprises during a vacation trip, when minor aspects are not planned. So it is for us to decide which aspects of life need planning.

Words of wisdom from an octogenarian

Just back from kerala and the sweltering heat. While happily boarding the A/C compartment, little did I realize that the journey was going to be educative as well. There was an old couple sitting adjacent and we struck a conversation with them. They were siblings, the lady 87 years old and the man 85!. She is a spinster and when asked why she didn't marry, she told ' never felt the need to do so.' The younger brother was a family man, but since his wife doesn't keep good health, he tours with his sister to explore new places.

We were curious to know what her understanding of life was, from 87 years of experience.

'Stand for truth, be true to yourself. Try to achieve perfection in whatever you do' was her clear message.

What does she think of the new generation?

'They are blindly following the rat race, without realizing that materialistic things cannot give lasting happiness. But they don't have any role models now. Money has assumed to status of God for many.'

Both of them acknowledged to the fact that there are ample good people around, and because of them the world is going on. Many people help them during their travels by fetching drinking water and exchanging their lower berths.

As always, I asked for some tips to maintain a healthy body in the old age.

'Get up early in the morning. do yoga and pranayama for at least an hour. Eat less and have more of raw food.'

I couldn't resist my standard question I have for any healthy lady above 80 years of age. 'Do you wash your clothes?'

'Yes. of course, I sit and wash all my clothes. Only the bed sheets go into the washing machine.' Is it just coincidence that all the 80 years and above healthy ladies (I have encountered about half a dozen) cook and wash their clothes?

To my li’l sis

Diwali is here, and my heart wrenches

At the thought I won’t hear your voice,

Wishing me all the luck and happiness.

I always knew yours was a higher soul,

But it was this pure and innocent,

I came to know only after you left me.

Your face was so serene and blissful,

I felt your eyes will open any moment,

And your lips will widen into a beautiful smile.

Your cheeks were cold to my touch,

How I wished I could infuse

Warmth into your body from mine!

Your feet were hard, did it hurt

When you remained

In the cold chamber for long?

You never liked cold,

And I’m sure you were aware

How fervently I was praying for you..

If my healings have contributed

To your passing away so peacefully,

I am for ever indebted to God.

Though you got many a rough deal from life

You never showed it on your smiling face,

Truly you were a God’s child!

You touched the lives of many,

And always had something worth

To impart to all those who met you.

You were Grace personified while accepting gifts

Your brightened face compensated for

All the troubles I had in selecting them for you.

You never complained they were not up to your liking,

Because you could sense the feelings behind!

I am thankful to God for giving me

So many wonderful years

Of togetherness with you

I am thankful to God for never

Bringing materialistic thoughts and things

Into our relationship

I am thankful to God for giving us

Opportunities and the mindset to enrich

Each other’s lives in so many ways

I’m sure you are waiting to welcome me

To join you in Eternal Bliss

If we have to take earthly forms again,

It is my prayer to the Almighty,

To make us sisters again!

-----------------------

Mind vs body

A tree cannot come into being

Without a seed that sprouted long ago

Nothing can manifest in the body

Without a seed that was implanted in the mind!

Breathe in love

Breathe through the nose,

To keep the body alive.

Breathe through the skin,

To keep the world alive.

Breathe in love,

Breathe out love,

And watch the world around

Transform into a dreamland!

Just enjoy

Worry about whether the Sun

Will rise tomorrow?

Just enjoy the light,

And heat of Sun light.

Worry about what tomorrow

Holds for you?

Just enjoy

The gifts of today!

Clear your eyes

You come into this world

With a bunch of diamonds around.

As you grow, those precious stones

Look like coal when viewed

Through anger, jealousy and hatred.

Clear your eyes, enjoy the beauty

And soak in the peace

Before you leave this-

Short stint called Life.

Lightning of reality

Her eyes shone bright

With the love that came from the heart,

Which was a pool of trust and faith.

When the lightning of reality struck,

She was blinded,

And the connections from the heart

Were burned.

How many births will it take,

To regenerate those connections,

And make those eyes,

Deep pools of love again?

Expectation

While walking through the maze of time,

I left you in pursuit of new experiences

Expecting to find you

Exactly where you stood,

Little realizing that not even a rock

Is static over a period of time!

Listen to the silence

With the rising Sun comes

The messages for each day

But we are lost in the world –

Of language, to get those messages

Go beyond the land of words,

Listen to the silence and..

Live in tune with the Divine Laws

To enjoy the peaceful Bliss!

Business, unlimited

Our ancestors made the caste system based on the occupation. Business community was supposed to earn a living by doing trades and owning shops.

Entry of multilevel marketing has changed all that. Anyone can become a businessperson now. People trying to rope in others into multilevel marketing have become the greatest threat to peaceful living these days. ‘You have been a loyal customer to the shop for long, what has he given you? ,‘they ask. It shows that ‘What is in it for me?’ syndrome has taken firm roots in our minds.

‘This is a good business opportunity. You don’t need infrastructure, no office hours, no great investment when compared to the return you will be getting’

Sounds great. What am I to do to get the returns in five or six digit figures? ‘You just have to spend half an hour everyday. That too, in the initial stages, we will come to help you, till you gain confidence.’

The illusion vanished when they took away thrice that much of time period from my busy schedule.’ You have all the time in the world to spend with your near and dear ones. This NASA scientist, after five years of his profession, realized he wasn’t getting enough time with his wife. Then he joined this venture, and finally he left his job at NASA. He is now totally into this business.’

I was horrified to hear that. ‘What about his professional satisfaction?’ And spending time with family is a mind set. Those who want to do that will find time in spite of their busy schedule.

‘Don’t you like to have all the good things in life? Toiling from morning to evening, how much can you earn? Just by spending half an hour daily, doesn’t this figure look attractive to you?’

I remembered my good old uncle’s advice years ago. He had asked my plans after finishing post graduation. ‘I’ll go abroad and earn a lot of money.’

‘Always remember one thing. Whatever comes too fast, will vanish also in no time. When a tree grows its roots deep down, taking its own time, it can withstand the storms. Take time grow in your profession. Returns will come by themselves.’

But that dictum is outdated for today’s generation, who want all goodies in life at the blink of an eye. When everybody is out there to get rich overnight, why should I be left behind?

‘From where will the money come to me?’ A bit of analysis showed me that the business venture means, when a customer buys the soap solution or any other product, I get my cut. Once the returns start coming, I’ll taste blood and will start netting more and more people in to keep on getting more and more cuts. I will have to forget about my Sundays because that is when I can go and convince my professional friends to get into the ‘business venture’. Because it will be easier to convince one’s friends than a total stranger.

And to make sure they won’t escape from my business talk, I will have to barge in without prior appointments. If I want to avoid that, I can just hand over their addresses. My partners in the business will go and meet them. But would I like to subject them to the torture, for just being my friends?

The calling bell is ringing…. I open to see a close friend, seeing after a long time. My face lights up in joy, when I hear,’ I have come to announce a great business opportunity. The investment is…..’

Oh God! Not again….

Tissue culture

The title has got nothing to do with the laboratory tissue culture, but it concerns the use of toilet tissues. While visiting the Heidelberg castle in Germany, the guide explained that in olden days when toilet paper was not available, poor people used straw to do the work while the elite class used soft ferns.

Coming from a country where we use water to clean after answering the nature’s calls, I was finding reasons why water was not used there. May be in cold season it was difficult, or may be there was water shortage. But what about the habit being continued in the temperature controlled modern apartments, with adequate water supply? It is even more interesting to see NRIs in America taking to this habit.

Being a dentist, I was fascinated to see the importance given to a project work by an American school girl on tooth brushes. She established that simply washing and drying the tooth brushes don’t clean them thoroughly and recommended disinfecting them by other means. I was fascinated to think that for one end of the alimentary canal they are advocating disinfection of tooth brushes, without having any idea how many millions of bacteria may be teeming at the other end, in their undergarments because the cleaning has been done only by a tissue wipe!

When I saw a toddler wincing while being wiped with a toilet tissue and again wrapped up in a diaper (diaper is on 24 hours a day), I really felt sorry for the tiny tot. But then he was being dabbed with all sorts of creams to keep the skin smooth and fragrant. Curiosity got over me to think what all creams ladies may be applying to keep off the smell of blood during their menstrual cycle. Also, I couldn’t help musing; do they use water to clean at least before their most intimate moments, especially before the auxiliary methods?

Finally, we can’t ignore the ecological aspect. Thousands of trees are felled every year to manufacture those tons of toilet papers. The garbage generated is also in gigantic proportions. Usage of water involves neither of these problems.

Newton’s Law

It was the medical jargon behind me that attracted my attention during my wait at the air port. After a while I looked back, to see a man instructing a group. When he finished and went off, I struck a conversation with one of them. Yes, they were a group of medical doctors, being taken for a tour of Singapore and Malaysia. What was interesting was that they were all medical practitioners from different remote villages.

Were they going for some medical conference? No, it was a pleasure trip. How did they all come together? And how come this sudden interest in foreign pleasure trip?

The information I got shook me to the inner core. A drug company arranged free foreign trip for doctors who completed a certain quota of medical prescriptions. In their eagerness to finish the quota, these doctors prescribed the medicines left and right.

If the patient is having an infection, at least two strong antibiotics are prescribed, with a justification that ‘at least one of them will act and bring immediate relief’.

When the patient’s condition is such that he doesn’t require medication, a minimum of two vitamins and a tonic are prescribed, ’to increase the immunity’. Am I justified in complaining when I know the psychology of many a patient? They want immediate relief from any sort of problem. They don’t want to listen to the fact that strong medications have strong side effects and that the body itself is capable of correcting many a disorder, given a little rest and time.

This patient psychology is conducive to the over prescription by doctors. Apart from financing foreign trips, there are many lucrative offers to the doctors who can push the medicines ruthlessly. They arrange for interior decorations of the doctor’s cabin, provide plush sofa sets for the waiting room, and pay for the conferences.

Until recently, doctors were considered no less than Gods by the patients who approached them. My heart grieved over the fact that they have surely fallen down from that pedestal. But then, how can doctors be different from the society? Their behavior can be explained by Newton’s law, ‘Every action has an equal and opposite reaction’.

We may feel angry on hearing about an unnecessary appendicectomy of a five year old kid of an income tax officer, by a junior doctor, just to gain surgical experience. But we may be forced to believe that it is just a manifestation of Newton’s law when the fact is known that this officer had harassed another doctor, by passing unjust orders against him because the officer was in a hurry to finish his work and didn’t study the case properly.